How to Make the Unconscious Work for You

How to make the unconscious work for you? Worries, anxieties, and fears can disrupt the natural rhythm of breathing, heartbeat, and the function of other organs. Direct thoughts of harmony, peace, and health into your subconscious. Fill your subconscious with the anticipation of better events and emotions, and it will bring all your thoughts to reality. Imagine a happy solution or the end of your problem, fully feel the joy of its realization, and all your fantasies and sensations will be clearly accepted and then realized by the subconscious.

Journey: A Small Life Within the Bigger One

A journey is a small life within a big one, with its own end and beginning, with anticipation, expectations, and planning, and its relation to the real unfolding of events, unpacking the content of the journey. Along the way, one acquires practical skills - the everyday wisdom of using available means and temporary adaptations - a hint that our life is also fleeting and nothing is long-term in this project, except the desire to continue.

Signs of Borderline Personality Disorders

1. Inability to endure loneliness, intense emotional pain, feeling of emptiness, feeling of unreality when alone. Intense anger and/or emotional pain upon rejection, even if the rejection is not explicitly stated by a person. This can be a lack of feedback, the person didn't answer a call, the person used a period instead of a smiley, i.e., an extremely strong reaction to signs of rejection, whether real or perceived.

Signs of Borderline Personality Disorders

2. The desire to cut oneself, break something, cause harm to oneself and others during periods of intense negative emotions. Self-harm is a form of auto-aggression, expressed in the deliberate or subconscious desire to inflict bodily harm on oneself. Suicidality based on this. 3. Swinging relationships, where a person once seems wonderful and next seen as an enemy, with strong resentment and hatred, especially if it seems that the person is rejecting or turning attention to others.

Signs of Borderline Personality Disorders

4. Lack of long-term interests and self-image. They change with each new close person. 5. 'Attachment' to a person who seems to be the center of the world. The whole white world revolves around this. When the person is not around, there is anxiety and emotional pain. Constant fear of losing them. Adapting to this person, even to the point of copying their hobbies, which seem to become one's own. Swings and emotional dependency. 6. Impulsivity - no pause between emotion and action. If you want to break something, you break it; if you want to get drunk, you go and do it. Generally prone to risk and self-destruction. To dependencies.

Signs of Borderline Personality Disorders

7. Extremely heightened stress response. Any event leads to a flood of emotions, a sense of unreality of self/world, increased suspiciousness up to paranoia for several hours, or brings about a period of mood altered in that direction. Someone said something wrong, a mistake at work, an unlikable message from a friend, someone got an object of envy, a client was rude on the phone, a negative comment was written - anything that causes just a negative emotion in an ordinary person triggers a storm of negative emotions in a person with BPD. This may lead to impulsivity, self-harm, or a feeling of "I'm worthless," or all of the above.

Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder

8. Sudden fits of rage and aggression. This relates to impulsivity and the tendency for intense emotional reactions. 9. Possibly too casual about personal data, stories, etc. Unreasonably fast closeness with new people by sharing information, passwords, with a feeling of having found a close person, even though you've known each other for a couple of days. 10. Generally unstable mood, which primarily changes under the influence of external causes, even minor ones. 11. Additional sign - constantly getting into dubious and unsettling situations.

Borderline Personality Disorders

There is a hidden form of borderline personality disorders where all the turmoil happens internally, and the person does not show it outwardly. That is, they do not destroy, argue with others, or show aggression, but experience everything internally. In this case, some behavioral points are absent.

The Responsibilities of Parents and Educators

We all want to make our children happy. We all wish them only the best. But sometimes it happens that we start confusing concepts and mixing our own priorities into other people's lives. The task of parents and educators (as banal as it may sound) is to teach children to learn. To teach them to seek the necessary information and distinguish truth from falsehood. To teach them to navigate obstacles with the least losses, both physical and moral. Understand, to teach, not to do everything for them: not to provide solutions in a ready-made form; not to procure the possible and impossible; not to exhaust oneself for the sake of it; not to spoil, but to love. Sometimes it's easier to do it yourself, and giving the maximum is a pleasure. But... The more we give to children, the less they can and want.

Helping Children Make Decisions

We all want to make our children happy. But how do you teach this? It's either there or not. Actually, it's not true. I won't discuss how to make a child more independent right now. I'll try to explain how to help your child learn to make independent decisions and take responsibility for their actions. After all, that's what you want, right? Stay tuned for the next posts.

Key Aspects in the Formation of a Child's Personality

1. Initial physical independence. Whether it is the first steps, eating, using the toilet, choosing toys in the store, climbing the Swedish wall, jumping into the pool... as soon as you see the child's readiness to act, let go. Do not pressure them, allow them to go their own way. Protect them from 'falls' and warn them of the consequences, but do not do everything instead of them.

Primary Things in the Formation of a Child's Personality

2. Sufficient Mobility. Remember that only energy generates energy. Inactivity kills it. Don't let children be lazy. Don't let yourself be lazy either. Be a positive example. Walks, hikes, sports clubs — all of this is needed by children like air. Without it, they cease to be children.

Primary Things in the Formation of a Child's Personality

3. A calm and trusting home atmosphere. This is a very important point. If the atmosphere in the house is tense, you and the other family members don't want to return there, then confidence and independence are out of the question. For any child, home is a place where they are always loved and expected. Just keep that in mind. Try not to bring outside anger home, don't shout and don't talk loudly about your grievances and mistakes.

Key Elements in the Development of a Child's Personality

4. Family meals and conversations. It is so wonderful when the whole family gathers and live communication happens. When the younger ones listen to the memories of the older ones, learn from their experience, and the older ones, in turn, allow the younger ones to express their own point of view. This is the exchange that gives strength and helps to make the right decisions.

Primary Things in the Development of Child Personality

5. Clear boundaries of what is allowed and clarity in your actions. Even for an adult, this greatly simplifies life. So what can be said about children? Do not change your decisions like gloves: avoid ambiguity in phrases and duality in decisions within the family. Reach an agreement in advance and ask all family members to adhere to the chosen tactic. Never argue or dispute in front of children. This is a very strong blow to the child's psyche.

What you can do for your child as a parent

Always be on the children's side. Listen and do not interrupt. Minimize stressful situations. Visit museums, circles, and clubs. Learn poems and texts by heart. Do not check the completion of homework. Pay no attention to school grades. Develop your own most optimal bonus system. Do not be afraid of deserved punishments (but, of course, not physical ones). Praise children for successes. Do not scold for failures. Explain causes and consequences. Do not make hasty conclusions. Do not humiliate or shame. Discuss any topics with children. Never compare them with yourself or other children. Participate in all children's events. Be proud and always respect the children.

Nothing is Accidental

Nothing is accidental, so learn your lessons. First, accept the situation as it is. For instance, I myself have attracted this situation into my life through my actions, words, thoughts. By doing so, you take responsibility for your actions and open the door to wisdom. This is the only path to enlightenment. If you decide to shift the responsibility onto someone else, you are on the path leading to spiritual degradation. There is no growth there.

Nothing is accidental, so learn from it

Secondly – (mental work) discover and realize the mistake that caused the unpleasant situation. Understanding may not come immediately, but reflection will bear fruit, it will be like a revelation. Remember, nothing is accidental, so shut your Ego up on time, which will attempt to stop the analysis. It's not superfluous here to recall what you said to your opponent in the unpleasant situation. Try on the accusations yourself – isn't it your coat? If something about a person irritates you, it means it exists in you. Knock, and it will open...

Learning Lessons from Reality

Nothing is random, so learn lessons from it. The third point is the spiritual work on oneself – eradicating the detected cause - the aspect of the Ego. There are many techniques, one of which is simply controlling thoughts and tracking the manifestation of this aspect of the Ego and becoming aware of it (accepting it), and it will gradually disappear. You can also purposefully practice the opposite of this aspect. Try different options. The external reality is a manifestation of your inner world.

Lessons from Non-Randomness

Nothing is accidental, so learn from it. The desire to change the world or another person is a manifestation of pure ego. Therefore, eradicate any attempts in yourself to do this and to think about it. Understanding that nothing here is accidental will significantly speed up your path. The surrounding world will change when your inner world changes!