How to set goals for the year in order to accomplish them?

For many people, setting goals has long been an annual December tradition. But how to plan for the future so that you don’t shed tears over unrealized goals at the end of the year? Choose 12 major goals for the year. The first and most important thing is to allocate 12 tasks for the year, one for each month. You might think that’s too much. Definitely no! We are, unfortunately, prone to apathy and procrastination. However, if you looked at your goal in detail, you'd be surprised at how quickly it can be achieved. Make a to do list with 12 tasks on a sheet of paper and pin it on the wall, so that all year long this list will be before your eyes and will not let you retreat. Two simple rules for choosing a goal: ▫️ Set goals that are easy to measure (for example, to write 10 articles, so you'll know the exact deadline). ▫️ Imagine that the task has already been accomplished and think about whether it would make you happy.

"Metamorphoses" and their causes

"Aunt" is always squeezing yourself for the sake of others, life by other people's interests. Conquer the "Aunt" in yourself - shout glamorous magazines. Sleep well, eat marbled beef five times a day, go to strength training three times a week, and go to the pool three times. Go to the hairdresser's, buy new clothes. They are unaware that, perhaps, this woman really wants to do strength training, and in the SPA, and in the pool. She has two schoolchildren around her neck, a paralyzed mother-in-law, parents who need help. For some reason, it is customary in society to treat "Aunts" with disdain, to shame with an absurd appearance, to accuse them of laziness. Although, frankly, some "Aunts" husbands, children and society would have to bow at the feet for their feat. On them, in part, this world rests.

"Metamorphoses" and their causes

Where do they even come from - these "Aunts"? And I'll tell you where. "Aunts" become women who do not live for themselves. Women who are forced to act daily and hourly against their wishes. What makes them do it? Probably debt. Are stocks in mass markets interested in a good life? No. They are interested in women who are trying to stretch their pay for a month, misunderstood called a salary. To have enough for food, and for my husband's pants, and for the child for tutors. Again, did a woman come up with tutors and a boring test of lessons? She just took on the responsibility, and tries to meet the high modern standards of child support. About which (both about standards and about children) a husband often has only a speculative idea. Why does "Aunt" eat cake? Probably, it makes up for energy losses that cannot be replenished otherwise - by walking, sleeping. Because she had no time to sleep, the child's teeth were cut / her stomach ached / her temperature rose.

"Metamorphoses" and their causes

Often men are indignant when they see that from a thin and sonorous girl who was once their beloved, it was suddenly hatched out incomprehensibly - some kind of shapeless "Aunt". They think they have been deceived. They slipped, it seems, a low-quality product. There was a student in a white cap, dancing at a disco, reading Haruki by Murakami, dreaming of going to Paris, and suddenly - on you, in all its glory, this terrifying sight. The classic "Aunt" with a reduced outlook, limited to the purchase of stew "by stock" and hiring tutors for the child. With a short haircut, in stretched shorts of an incomprehensible color, with a cake during a break at work, in strange hooded clothes of non-marking colors, more reminiscent of a parachute.

Questions for the analysis of family relationships

It is enough to dive into these questions to understand how close you are with your spouse at the moment. The sooner you can see, the more opportunities for improving relations. Or, at worst, realize that you have wasted a lot of time living in an empty relationship. • Am I satisfied in this relationship? • How long ago did I share my feelings with my man? • Do I know what he likes? • When was the last time I did something nice for him on my own? • When was the last time he shared his feelings with me? • When was the last time he did something nice for me of his own accord? • Is my man satisfied with his relationship with me? • Do we live together because we both want it, or because we are used to and should live like this?

Retribution for insults

Did you know that the other side of resentment is a woman's health? In fact, resentment is clots of bad energy, memories and experiences. And they are stored nowhere else but in our body. Resentment is nonsense for a woman's body and the cause of her blues on the physical level. And so we, girls, should forever say goodbye to insults, simultaneously forgiving and releasing the offenders.

Leave the habit of throwing sharp phrases

Today I propose to analyze the errors on specific examples. Instead of the first option, use the second. It will help to find mutual understanding and strengthen relationships: ▫️Do what you want! / It is important for me that we decide together what to do. ▫️Who needs you but me? / You are the best! ▫️It doesn’t work out well with you. / It hurts me when you do this to me. ▫️I don't want to talk to you./Let's come back to this conversation later. ▫️ I told you that it would be so! / Next time we will do it differently. ▫️You did it on purpose to hurt me./It's an accident, I know you didn't mean to hurt me. ▫️You never do anything around the house. / Without you, I can't cope with household chores. Remember phrases that harm relationships, and which strengthen!

Do you have room for a husband?

It is very important for a woman to leave space inside herself for her husband, and at all levels: • on the physical - give the opportunity to protect, help, take care of yourself. • socially - to accept the husband's status and his social influence, without trying to change him, without comparing him with others. • on the intellectual level - to be able to listen and accept his point of view (without giving up his own), accept his world and beliefs. • on the spiritual - to accept unconditionally the path that a man leads, without control and condemnation. If you give your husband space on all these levels, you will see how your feelings about yourself will change and how your spouse will begin to grow, progress, rise higher.

Do not suppress the negative emotions but use them to draw conclusions

It is believed that a successful person is positive and happy at any given time, but this is a delusion and deception. Creating an enthusiastic atmosphere of joy at trainings and courses, an illusion is formed that it will follow you into everyday life. But there the range of emotions is wider, and negative experience is integral. You need to live it and accept it without suppressing yourself, otherwise it's easy to become a regular client of a psychologist. Negativity can be beneficial from the point of view of personal growth, if you analyze your condition correctly and draw the right conclusions. Plus, it increases the value of positivity, which does not get boring and works even more effectively on emotional contrast.

Am I in control of my life or am I going with the flow?

Very few of us are in full control of our lives, fewer make informed decisions and play by our own rules. We often do what other people want us to do. Sometimes we blame the circumstances and do not believe that we can change anything. And more often we just perform the usual ritual naturally, without even noticing how our everyday days fly by. It's time to wake up and take control!

When on vacation - have a rest

Vacation is sacred. It doesn't matter who you are - a manager, a top manager or an entrepreneur — it's unreasonable to accumulate weeks of rest: you only multiply fatigue which leads to burnout. Therefore, the main tasks of a vacation are to give the brain a rest, reduce stress, experience new emotions and acquaintances, recharge energy and strengthen family relationships.

Don't make excuses, it weakens you

You make mistakes, you learn, and that is your strength. Be open and honest. Life is learning. You would never be wrong if you knew how things would end. Only life is arranged in such a way that not a single business begins in one hundred percent certainty that it will work out. Therefore, be open to the experience and honestly admit if something did not work out. Such a strategy for dealing with failure will allow you to psychologically complete the event: • you will draw conclusions and take them into account in the future, without exhausting yourself with a fruitless feeling of guilt • it will strengthen your personality - because admitting your guilt, and not dumping it on others, you act like a good person • it will strengthen your self-respect - because you recognize as wrong only your specific action, but not your entire existence. The next time you find yourself making excuses, stop and hold back. And you will feel more personal power, even if you hear a lot of unpleasant things about yourself. Hold back. Let people express their feelings towards you if they want to, and accept it courageously. Hold back. Draw your own conclusions and get on with your life.

Don't make excuses, it weakens you

The easiest way to be "good" is to find the bad one in time - the one who does not allow him to show his true flawless, unsullied ideal essence. Who is the "bad guy" these days? My wife doesn’t understand me, the bosses humiliate me, the children don’t obey, the husband doesn’t love me, my parents get me out, the transport is late, the alarm clock breaks, the doctors don’t treat me, the neighbors are noisy, the gasoline is running out, my health is deteriorating. Don't get me wrong, it's not my fault. Don't make excuses. “I’m late, sorry, I just went to bed late yesterday, there was a lot of work, several business calls in the morning, you know what kind of emergency we have now, everything is like always at the last minute, is it possible to do at least something on time - eternal rush…" "I'm late, please excuse me." Noticed the difference? Don't make excuses. Excuses make you a victim of circumstance and rob you of your vitality. You yourself begin to perceive yourself as a small fry in the full-flowing river of human relations. You lose self-respect and self-confidence. You lose the trust of other people because you fuss around your own person a lot and are constantly defending yourself.

Don't make excuses, it weakens you

In everyday life, another strategy is common: to dodge for a long time, admit your mistake with a creak, apologize through gritted teeth, make excuses for a long, long time, and in the end - make everyone around you blame, but not yourself. The lower the self-esteem of a person, the more passion and perseverance he implements this strategy. And why? Because he believes that if you choose the right excuses, then he will be “not at all guilty.” Because he thinks that a good person is never wrong. And he really wants to be a good person.

Don't make excuses, it weakens you

We all are wrong. We make mistakes. We do stupid things. We offend. Let's make miscalculations. And you need to understand the first time. When you do it, it's right. Act smart. Be mindful of the interests of others. Measure seven times and cut once. Does not work. Unless, of course, you are a living person. How to behave when you make a mistake? Admit your mistake. Apologize. To live on. Everything is simple.

6 ways to take care of yourself

• Spiritual. Spirituality is different for everyone, so try to find something that develops you in this direction. • Psychological. Here is everything that can provide psychological well-being. • Professional. Determine what is professionally important to you. • Physical. Highlight your favorite sport or exercise. • Personal. This includes everything that develops you as a person. For example: your professional development or the achievement of some significant goals. • Emotional. Make a list that allows you to discharge emotionally. You can see that many species overlap, but it's normal for someone to take care of themselves physically, just like me as a professional one.

Unfinished Gestalt

The word "gestalt" (die Gestalt) is translated as "image", "figure", "form". The term was introduced by the founders of Gestalt psychology Max Wertheimer, Kurt Koffke and Wolfgang Köhler. It means the desire of our subconscious for integrity. If, for example, in a conflict situation with a leader, you remained silent without expressing your opinion, the subconscious will return to this over and over again, developing internal dialogues: “I should have told him .... And then he would…” When the dialogues end, and the gestalt is still “penetrating”, there is internal tension, depression, irritability, aggression, loss of strength and energy. You are like a frozen computer: you seem to be working, but somehow not the way you should.

Do you need to switch roles?

In the modern world, one can often find a situation where a woman earns money, and a man takes on the functions of an exemplary householder. Here the question is natural: should this be allowed? It all depends on the situation in a particular family. It's impossible to give a definitive answer based on the question itself. This may be a temporary stage in life when such a reassignment of roles is beneficial and will benefit both parties.

Comparing yourself to others: good or bad?

This habit is laid down in childhood. First, parents compare children, put someone as an example to them. Then the child himself sees that someone's toys are better and more expensive than his. Further more: the classmate's hair is longer, the dress is more beautiful. And so all my life! If you compare yourself all the time not in your favor, then envy, resentment, anger will never let you enjoy life. It is better to compare yourself only with yourself yesterday. But there is also a useful comparison. If you compare yourself with someone and get motivated to move forward, this is a resource. You just see your potential in another person, not considering that something is worse than him.

How to get a man back

If you want a man back, I'll give you a specific plan: Answer yourself the question: "What happened between you?" His departure is a consequence. We need to understand the real reasons. Let go for real. Don't let him leave. Let the man know that you would like him to stay, but you will not force him. Take care of yourself. Find new hobbies and start living without him. Forgive. Remove claims to a man and recognize his right to leave when he wants and from whom he wants. Give thanks. Call or text him and thank him for all the good things that happened between you. Do it sincerely and with a pure heart. Meet men, chat, go on dates Choose the most worthy partner with whom you want to make each other happy.